Sunday, September 17, 2017

A Note to my Pastor

Jim,
Your message this week hit me in the heart, as it is something that I have been thinking and praying about  for some time.  The "take home" message for me, was that I need to be doing what I was called to do when Jesus returns.  Convicted, big time, on that point. But, keeping that thought in the front of my mind will make a difference.
My desire is to be more of a servant, a light, to be His hands and feet, and am always amazed when I am used by God, in even a small way, to minister to others. I'm such a broken vessel. I stumble and fall so often each day.  I'm selfish and lazy and greedy....but, then there is a moment when an opportunity presents itself to share or give to someone else, and I see God working through me....and I'm amazed.  Me...He uses Me!  Like the other day, I gave a ride to a young woman who was walking down our country road crying after a fight with her boyfriend. I had been sitting on my porch, but felt led to jump in the car and offer her a ride to wherever she wanted to go. For a few minutes we talked   about  all the natural disasters and I shared thoughts on salvation, repentance, and grace. I loved her willingness to listen, and hope I planted or watered a seed.  Following God's leading.....that little voice.....gave me that amazement. He uses me!  Broken Me!  She has my phone number now.
Your message drove the lesson home for me yesterday.  It was confirmation. He will use even me, if I am willing to listen and act. And, in doing what I am called to do, I find joy and am drawn closer to Him.  Win-win.  

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Learning to Live

At first, the tasks before me seemed overwhelming, insurmountable.  My husbands death left me broken, and now, solely responsible for our small ranch with its older home, livestock, fencing and fields. 
Everything seemed to go wrong right away. appliances and fences broke down. winter brought snow that needed plowing and vehicles that needed service. My grief was dark and deep, and I was immobile facing the work before me.  
 A small light appeared when someone suggested that I try to do just five things each day.  That could be a reasonable goal if getting out of bed and getting dressed counted as the first two. I must admit that some days, that's all that I accomplished. 
Soon, I found videos that walked me through the repairs on the refrigerator, and the car. The tractors owners manual taught me how to run the plow and other attachments. My fence building skills improved each time I needed to repair a section or two. I learned to know the difference between doing the things I could do and getting help with the rest.   I mercilessly picked the brains of friends and neighboring farmers for advice and instruction. Asking for help of any kind has always been hard, but I have learned that people want to lend a hand, or an ear, or a shovel.  
As months progressed, I felt pride in the things that I was able to accomplish.  I could see that there was always a solution to the problem, either on you tube or next door. I have learned that I am stronger and more capable than I thought I could be.  I am independent but humble, because I need the people around me for support.