The party was nice there was lots of people I know......friends?.......yes, many I call friends. Some, good friends.
There was music and food and the sun was shining warmly. Thee was laughter and conversation, there were many hugs and birthday wishes.
I still have moments......more than I can count.....of grief and pain when I’m out in the crowd. I’m a “single” in the midst of a sea of couples. Oh, not everyone is paired, there are other single women, but I only see the happy couples.....the couples like we were once. One minute I’m talking and smiling, the next I am fighting tears as the reality of loss stabs my heart.
I miss dancing. I miss Jim’s arms holding me as we danced. (“Hang on to me now”). We were pretty good dancers. Steve and Danny played Amarillo by Morning for me. That is the one song we danced to all over the country. It always brings such a flood of memories. This is my acknowledgment of Jim when I’m out listening to music, and my musician friends know this and always play it for me, for him, for us.....for what was. And, for a moment I am able to imagine myself in his arms again and not feel alone.
