From everything I read in the news, there is an unemployment crisis. Well, can't prove it by me!!! We have been looking to fill a spot here at the Ranch with an in-home personal care provider to help with the kids. We have a great staff and need to add one person. It's a pretty good job, fairly decent pay, and flexibility to swap shifts to accommodate things like dentist appointments and camping trips.
I have an ad on Craigslist, fliers at the grocery store, and an agency actively trying to recruit a viable candidate. This has been going on for several months now. The results??? One person that is actually willing to try it out.
Quite a few people contacted us and several actually showed up for an interview, but the vast majority decline the offer of a job. They have such rigid parameters for employment; no weekends, evenings, need this, that, or the other thing. It seems that we were being interviewed, not the other way around.
Here we are offering a good, steady job, and no one wants it. The reasons don't make sense....this is health care, not banking. Weekends and holidays are a given part of the program. Don't go into the field if you want Monday through Friday, nine to five or if you don't want to care for other people and all of their daily activities.
So, here we are with an opening, we have been interviewed over and over again, and I continue to hear about people who are out of work, and unable to find a job. I now believe that many of these folks really don't want to work. They are content to collect unemployment and watch NCIS reruns all day. I now look at the unemployment numbers that have been rising steadily a little differently, with a bit of cynicism born of meeting way too many people of late who are out of work, but not really interested in work.
Just sayin'.....
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Song for the Singer
He saddled up a good horse
His faithful companion
They rode across the prairie
Headed for the canyon.
He’d never come this way before.
This trail was not well traveled.
He left a broken heart behind
With a life that had unraveled.
The trail was steep and narrow
As it crossed the great divide.
There was no other way to go
To reach the other side.
The canyon walls grew high and dark,
They closed in like a prison.
This journey wasn’t in his plan,
It wasn’t his decision.
They rode on through a cold, dark night.
And he began to pray.
He asked for strength to make this ride
And for a brighter day.
All at once a still small voice
Seemed to fill the night.
He was suddenly surrounded
By God’s love and peace and light.
It said:
Keep looking up, Buckaroo
This trial is nearly over.
Ill lead you to clear water
And green pastures of clover.
Keep looking up, Buckaroo
You will never ride alone.
I will always be right by your side
And lead you safely home.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Motorcycle Madness
Every weekend this summer, there have been accidents, some with fatalities, involving motorcycles. Each year the number of crashes seems to increase. Perhaps, because of the new popularity of bikes for "non-bikers", and the draw of an economical form of transportation, there are lots more motorcycles on the road than ever before. Not every rider is as competent or as observant as they could be; and not every motorist is looking for a two-wheeled rider in the oncoming lane. I see helmetless folks all the time. Many aren't wearing protective gear, like jackets, chaps, or goggles. Then there are the dozens of bikes parked for a social break in front of a couple of local watering holes. Everyone knows that drinking and driving don't mix, and the risk increases considerably with bikes. Do these people have a death wish, or do they just think they are invincible?? The laws of gravity and inertia don't give the poor guy a chance against a car, tree, deer, gravel, oil slick, pothole, or any number of other potential hazards. So why not boost the odds in your favor and wear the gear that might save your life? Rhetorical question, I know..... but, I needed to ask.
That, being said, I don't like over regulation of anything. We have plenty of laws and rules already. But there is a point where the freedom of the individual to feel the wind in their hair, and the public cost to rehab and support their subsequent traumatic brain injury intersect. We already have excessive governmental support of personal irresponsibility, we are saturated with it. So, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised or outraged with small potatoes like a helmet on a motorcycle...... but I am, every time I see it.
I used to ride, my last bike was a beautiful States Blue HD with an almost obscene amount of chrome. It was wonderful! As I was strapping on my helmet one day, a small voice in my head or heart or from somewhere said no. I had always told myself that I would quit when I heard that voice. I have taken care of trauma patients that told me they had heard it, but didn't listen..... they wanted that last ride. I listened then; be it wisdom or fear, and I never took the bike out again.
How many of these accidents have happened when folks did not heed a warning or premonition of some sort. I'll never know, of course, but I do believe there are guardian angels, or the like, out there that will protect us... or try to... even when we aren't protecting ourselves. Of course, when they fail, the taxpayers can foot the bill.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Who Let the Air out of Dad?
The phone call came early in the morning; Dad had a stroke and was in the hospital. He had just had his eighty-ninth birthday the week before. He is in good hands, some medication changes and rehab, then home with lots of help in a few weeks.... hopefully. It is difficult to picture him like this.
He was always larger than life; not in the physical sense, but in his presence. He was blind in one eye from a birth injury, and polio left one leg a little smaller than the other. He had overcome a stutter to become a gifted preacher and teacher. He never saw these as disabilities, so no one else did, either.
He was charismatic, articulate, brilliant. He was also alcoholic, bipolar, narcissistic. His childhood was dominated by an unyielding tyrant for a father and a very talented, but oppressed, passive mother. His only brother hanged himself one winter day. Dad told us stories of the cruelty inflicted upon him by his father in an effort to mature him, make a man out of him.
It is no surprise, then, that he parented rather poorly. Rules are rules. "Look at me when I talk to you." and "Don't make me take off my belt." still ring in my ears. I was the unruly one, his challenge and his trial. Lacking a role model for fathering and given a wild child for a firstborn, it was a "perfect storm" in dysfunction. He drew lines, I crossed them; he set curfews and boundaries, I broke them . He demanded good grades, I failed miserably. I was afraid of him, he was a huge, intimidating figure to me then. He was the Wizard of Oz and I was Dorothy. I needed his love, he didn't know how to give me what I needed.
We were out of touch for many years after I left home. I didn't make an effort, nor did he. He went through his own hellish seasons, divorces, losses, rehabs for booze. His life seemed to smooth a bit in later years, but then health issues appeared. A pacemaker, prostate cancer, and post polio syndrome beat him down a bit. He continued in his calling as a minister, and somehow had maintained a circle of friends that supported him through the hard times. I know that his life has not been a bed of roses, but I hope he has found some happiness.
I took the high road a few years ago and contacted him when Jim and I travelled back east. It was to clear my slate more than anything else, and to make whatever amends I could on my part. It was good, and we now have a relationship that, if not loving, is caring and respectful. I have a father, he has a daughter. I am no longer afraid of him. I see the man through my grown up eyes now, and he is not the big, scary Wizard. He is small, elderly, and frail. The image I once held is the opposite of the reality I face today. He needs care, and love, and comfort. I can hold him in the way he was never held a child, accept his frailties as he never did, love him in the way I would have liked to be loved by him.
So, who let the air out of Dad? I did. I grew up. I learned forgiveness and acceptance. I battled my own demons and in doing so destroyed some of his. I will make the best of what time we have left to make some memories, to love him without condition, to be the best daughter I can be. Healing runs both ways.
He was always larger than life; not in the physical sense, but in his presence. He was blind in one eye from a birth injury, and polio left one leg a little smaller than the other. He had overcome a stutter to become a gifted preacher and teacher. He never saw these as disabilities, so no one else did, either.
He was charismatic, articulate, brilliant. He was also alcoholic, bipolar, narcissistic. His childhood was dominated by an unyielding tyrant for a father and a very talented, but oppressed, passive mother. His only brother hanged himself one winter day. Dad told us stories of the cruelty inflicted upon him by his father in an effort to mature him, make a man out of him.
It is no surprise, then, that he parented rather poorly. Rules are rules. "Look at me when I talk to you." and "Don't make me take off my belt." still ring in my ears. I was the unruly one, his challenge and his trial. Lacking a role model for fathering and given a wild child for a firstborn, it was a "perfect storm" in dysfunction. He drew lines, I crossed them; he set curfews and boundaries, I broke them . He demanded good grades, I failed miserably. I was afraid of him, he was a huge, intimidating figure to me then. He was the Wizard of Oz and I was Dorothy. I needed his love, he didn't know how to give me what I needed.
We were out of touch for many years after I left home. I didn't make an effort, nor did he. He went through his own hellish seasons, divorces, losses, rehabs for booze. His life seemed to smooth a bit in later years, but then health issues appeared. A pacemaker, prostate cancer, and post polio syndrome beat him down a bit. He continued in his calling as a minister, and somehow had maintained a circle of friends that supported him through the hard times. I know that his life has not been a bed of roses, but I hope he has found some happiness.
I took the high road a few years ago and contacted him when Jim and I travelled back east. It was to clear my slate more than anything else, and to make whatever amends I could on my part. It was good, and we now have a relationship that, if not loving, is caring and respectful. I have a father, he has a daughter. I am no longer afraid of him. I see the man through my grown up eyes now, and he is not the big, scary Wizard. He is small, elderly, and frail. The image I once held is the opposite of the reality I face today. He needs care, and love, and comfort. I can hold him in the way he was never held a child, accept his frailties as he never did, love him in the way I would have liked to be loved by him.
So, who let the air out of Dad? I did. I grew up. I learned forgiveness and acceptance. I battled my own demons and in doing so destroyed some of his. I will make the best of what time we have left to make some memories, to love him without condition, to be the best daughter I can be. Healing runs both ways.
Beginnings and Endings
The wedding invites have filled the June and July weekends on the calender. Young couples, full of hope and joy, reciting vows of forever before smiling friends and families. What wonderful, happy occasions are these..... the culmination of dreams and plans, the future looking so bright.
I wish these young friends of ours the best. I wish them success in this partnership. I hope they are able to remember the joy of this day when the dark clouds loom overhead, and they recall the promises made to each other to love and respect and honor one another for a lifetime, when leaving seems like the only option.
My happiness for the newlyweds is dampened by an equal number of couples we know that have ended their marriage this summer. Lives are torn apart, so much heartbreak and anger, friends and family divided and saddened. These same people had their day in the sun once, the music, the flowers,the champagne, and the promises. What happened to them? Where did it go wrong?
Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It takes commitment, compromise, courage, and care to make it last. That Love that brought our happy young couples to the altar, ebbs and flows through the years, becoming more the action verb than the heart-fluttery noun. Feet must be planted in facts and rooted in those vows, not to be led astray by feelings. There is little room for the "I, Me or My" mentality.For a marriage to succeed, each party must give 75% and take 25%..... at least.
The happiest couples I know, are each committed to the fulfillment of their spouse, through the good times and bad. They pull together over the rough spots, ease each others burdens, respect and encourage each other; they complete each other. They are committed to making it through whatever comes their way; together.
It takes such hard work, but is so worth the reward. I see the result of such commitment in our friends, Jay and Janey. Their marriage of forty two years; decades of changes, joys and sorrows, held fast by perseverance and commitment. I love the way they look at each other, smile and connect on a very private level. The love they share is not an accident, they have cultivated something special.... something that is rare in this day and age of throwaway marriages, but, by the same token, available to anyone willing to make the effort.
My hope, my prayer, for the young couples making promises to each other this summer, is that they live a long joy filled life together, loving and learning and growing closer, where ever the road leads them. And for those who would like to erase the vows they made, I hope they are able to step back in time to a better day, remember the dreams and the plans, and perhaps heal the hurts and dissolve the disappointments that have pulled them apart.
I wish forty two years and more for us all.
I wish these young friends of ours the best. I wish them success in this partnership. I hope they are able to remember the joy of this day when the dark clouds loom overhead, and they recall the promises made to each other to love and respect and honor one another for a lifetime, when leaving seems like the only option.
My happiness for the newlyweds is dampened by an equal number of couples we know that have ended their marriage this summer. Lives are torn apart, so much heartbreak and anger, friends and family divided and saddened. These same people had their day in the sun once, the music, the flowers,the champagne, and the promises. What happened to them? Where did it go wrong?
Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It takes commitment, compromise, courage, and care to make it last. That Love that brought our happy young couples to the altar, ebbs and flows through the years, becoming more the action verb than the heart-fluttery noun. Feet must be planted in facts and rooted in those vows, not to be led astray by feelings. There is little room for the "I, Me or My" mentality.For a marriage to succeed, each party must give 75% and take 25%..... at least.
The happiest couples I know, are each committed to the fulfillment of their spouse, through the good times and bad. They pull together over the rough spots, ease each others burdens, respect and encourage each other; they complete each other. They are committed to making it through whatever comes their way; together.
It takes such hard work, but is so worth the reward. I see the result of such commitment in our friends, Jay and Janey. Their marriage of forty two years; decades of changes, joys and sorrows, held fast by perseverance and commitment. I love the way they look at each other, smile and connect on a very private level. The love they share is not an accident, they have cultivated something special.... something that is rare in this day and age of throwaway marriages, but, by the same token, available to anyone willing to make the effort.
My hope, my prayer, for the young couples making promises to each other this summer, is that they live a long joy filled life together, loving and learning and growing closer, where ever the road leads them. And for those who would like to erase the vows they made, I hope they are able to step back in time to a better day, remember the dreams and the plans, and perhaps heal the hurts and dissolve the disappointments that have pulled them apart.
I wish forty two years and more for us all.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Sun Valley
Here we are in SunValley. This is where Jim and his Siblings made some wonderful memories when they were younger. We have all come down here to celebrate with Brandon, Jim's nephew (Sister Sandy's son) who will be forty on Sunday. What a hoot. There are a ton of relatives staying in various rental houses. We are in a nice condo at Elkhorn, complete with golf, tennis, bike and hiking trails, and a huge pool and hottub. We are right below a ski lift and right on the golf course. Pretty fancy for this bunpkin!!
There are lots of plans to keep us entertained all weekend. I'm looking forward to the rodeo tonite. It feels more familiar and more Me. Karen and I went into Ketchum yesterday and wandered around the shops with other tourists and some locals. Too ritzy and too crowded for my liking. We did find a secondhand store that was fun to search through finding a few books and other treasures.
Well, off to the rodeo with this crowd of family and friends. Yee-haw!!
There are lots of plans to keep us entertained all weekend. I'm looking forward to the rodeo tonite. It feels more familiar and more Me. Karen and I went into Ketchum yesterday and wandered around the shops with other tourists and some locals. Too ritzy and too crowded for my liking. We did find a secondhand store that was fun to search through finding a few books and other treasures.
Well, off to the rodeo with this crowd of family and friends. Yee-haw!!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
SUMMER
It has been a long time since my last post..... not because I don't have anything to say, (like THAT could ever happen) but because it is Summer. I am living outside from dawn to dark, soaking in the sun and warm weather that we all longed for during those long, dark winter nights. Summer brings so many chores and activities, and with the clock ticking toward Fall, I don't want to waste a minute of daylight. As a result of my new daytime routine, my blog has suffered. I didn't mean to be gone this long, and I didn't realize how much I have missed sharing my thoughts and connecting with others through HBO.... I have really, really missed the online relationships and the sense of community that exists.
I want to make this journal a priority, no matter what the season. It is therapy, prayer, confession, supplication..... It allows me to connect with a bigger world than I would otherwise know. It helps me think more clearly and objectively, more creatively.... like living in high definition .....because I have been exposed to so many other thoughts and ideas through this medium.
So, I have lots to say; but won't do it all today. This is to get back on the horse, to post something to start to close the gap that has grown silent and wide since May when I was last here, to check in with friends I have missed, and to touch base with family who read the blog, too.
I'm back.
It's always nice to come home.
I want to make this journal a priority, no matter what the season. It is therapy, prayer, confession, supplication..... It allows me to connect with a bigger world than I would otherwise know. It helps me think more clearly and objectively, more creatively.... like living in high definition .....because I have been exposed to so many other thoughts and ideas through this medium.
So, I have lots to say; but won't do it all today. This is to get back on the horse, to post something to start to close the gap that has grown silent and wide since May when I was last here, to check in with friends I have missed, and to touch base with family who read the blog, too.
I'm back.
It's always nice to come home.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Music and Old Friends
My Ipod is full of old tunes that have travelled with me through the years and over the miles. They elicit all sorts of memories, each one evokes a place, an event, or a person that has left a mark on some part of my life. The memories run a full circle of emotion, all are welcome; even the more difficult ones.
Along the same vein, the Internet and it's ability to connect me to places like Facebook and Classmates, has provided an opportunity to renew and maintain relationships with friends and acquaintances from days gone by. As with my music, hearing from folks from the past brings back such a flood of memory. It is such a treat to compare notes on our families, our travels and our life's' adventures. We shared so much together. We are who we are today, in part, because of each other .
Although we are scattered all over the country, indeed, the world, we can touch base, share photos, instant messages, and chats whenever we choose. The memories of the past abound and bind us; but our days are spent in the here and now, as we continue to cultivate our friendships ....tappin' the keys on the laptop, and tappin' my foot to the old tunes on my Ipod.
Along the same vein, the Internet and it's ability to connect me to places like Facebook and Classmates, has provided an opportunity to renew and maintain relationships with friends and acquaintances from days gone by. As with my music, hearing from folks from the past brings back such a flood of memory. It is such a treat to compare notes on our families, our travels and our life's' adventures. We shared so much together. We are who we are today, in part, because of each other .
Although we are scattered all over the country, indeed, the world, we can touch base, share photos, instant messages, and chats whenever we choose. The memories of the past abound and bind us; but our days are spent in the here and now, as we continue to cultivate our friendships ....tappin' the keys on the laptop, and tappin' my foot to the old tunes on my Ipod.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Mother's Day
The annual commercialized frenzy to acknowledge Mother is in full swing.... cards are flying off the rack at Walmart, baskets of flowers are offered outside all the stores, and there are all kinds of TV and radio ads encouraging us to buy, buy, buy...
I have no need to receive the Hallmark cards, diamond earrings, boxes of candy, or a vase of flowers . Oh, they are nice, but not necessary. I don't need recognition one day in May every year. Every day is Mother's Day. Each day brings a gift from my family if I look for it.
I am Mom. I have answered to that name for over forty years from over twenty children. That, alone, has been such a privilege.... most of the time, anyway. There have been joys and sorrows, good times and bad, lots of laughter, some tears. The learning curve has been steep. I have made mistakes, felt angry or frustrated or scared. I have occasionally wanted to hand in my resignation.
My family has a front row seat to the worst of me.... the "mean mom", curfews and chores,yelling and grounding, saying "NO" more than I needed to. I threw Thanksgiving Dinner in the garbage one year in a fit of anger over something stupid. I still feel bad about that. They have loved me in spite of me. They still love me! That is the only Mother's Day present I will ever need.
My children and their children...scattered all over the country... . are my diamonds. Watching them live happy, successful lives are the flowers in my life. The memories are the "sweets" that are as satisfying as chocolate!
I am Mom, and it's been a heck of a ride! On Mother's Day I think I will thank each of my kids for the privilege and honor that being their mother has been. I will thank them for all they have taught me and for all the memories they have given me. They have made me the the person I am today and I love them beyond measure.
I have no need to receive the Hallmark cards, diamond earrings, boxes of candy, or a vase of flowers . Oh, they are nice, but not necessary. I don't need recognition one day in May every year. Every day is Mother's Day. Each day brings a gift from my family if I look for it.
I am Mom. I have answered to that name for over forty years from over twenty children. That, alone, has been such a privilege.... most of the time, anyway. There have been joys and sorrows, good times and bad, lots of laughter, some tears. The learning curve has been steep. I have made mistakes, felt angry or frustrated or scared. I have occasionally wanted to hand in my resignation.
My family has a front row seat to the worst of me.... the "mean mom", curfews and chores,yelling and grounding, saying "NO" more than I needed to. I threw Thanksgiving Dinner in the garbage one year in a fit of anger over something stupid. I still feel bad about that. They have loved me in spite of me. They still love me! That is the only Mother's Day present I will ever need.
My children and their children...scattered all over the country... . are my diamonds. Watching them live happy, successful lives are the flowers in my life. The memories are the "sweets" that are as satisfying as chocolate!
I am Mom, and it's been a heck of a ride! On Mother's Day I think I will thank each of my kids for the privilege and honor that being their mother has been. I will thank them for all they have taught me and for all the memories they have given me. They have made me the the person I am today and I love them beyond measure.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
On Becoming Sixty
My friend is turning sixty. A wonderful event. Another decade to explore and experience.Some feel it means a membership in the Over the Hill Gang, others see it as a license to retire to the recliner and collect crumbs on their chest.
When we were Thirty, we were fueled by our dreams and our youth. We had an open road before us, plans were made, goals were set, we were so happy to be on our way, on our own. We built our careers, homes, families, and friends. We earned money, paid bills, collected memories and photographs. We kept up with technology and best sellers. Sometimes, life was overwhelming. Mistakes made, then made again. Lessons learned on life, love and loss, then passed on to the children watching us.
At Forty, we settled in to routines. Life revolved around the calender on the wall in the kitchen. We were paying off a mortgage and saving for a retirement that seemed so far away. We took the kids to Disneyland and Soccer practice. We cooked Thanksgiving Dinner for all the relatives. We felt like grown-ups, at last.
Turning Fifty was a little tough. There was something about that half-century mark, and the changes in our lives that were difficult to grasp. Our children became adults, our parents began to be more dependent. We had our tenure, promotions, and more vacation time. New activities took the place of PTA and Scouts and the Kids’ sports. We bought reading glasses and wrinkle cream.It was a time of transition. We looked back with alternating pride and regret. We learned acceptance; of our lives and our selves. Priorities shifted; relationships and introspection and spiritually and laughter became more important. We found our own voices and were empowered as we found our inner beauty.
Here we are, my Friend, at Sixty. All that we have experienced has prepared us for today. Some of us know that these are the best years, and we welcome the new decade with open arms. We are at the top of the mountain. These years are the reward, the prize we have won for making the climb.As we plant our flag on this Summit, the vista is clear in all directions; past, present, and future. The path has been uphill, it has been costly and demanding. There have been storms and setbacks, we thought about turning back, but pushed on in spite of it all. We now stand in the warm and healing light of the Sun. We continue to learn and grow. We will know love, loss, laugher, and tears. We will develop our wisdom and wit. We have earned our place at the top, and the joy and sense of pride and accomplishment that go with it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)